The Core Classes
Ellen’s 5-step Approach to ending hurtful patterns of communication
This is a self-directed course consisting of live virtual classes and worksheets to learn and practice speaking differently. In just 5 weeks, you CAN TRANSFORM the way you communicate with your partner, family, friends, kids – really everyone! You can take these classes as an individual or a couple. They are broken down into individual classes so you don’t miss one. You can register for the next lesson that fits your schedule.
Take the classes in order. Step 1, then Step 2, etc. Even if you need to miss a few weeks because you are busy or traveling. Don’t proceed to the next step until you fully master the current one. Use the workbook and exercises sheets. It may take some people a week to learn each step, and others, a few weeks. You can keep practicing the exercises on your own, or you can simply register for the same step, again. The virtual classes are 50 minutes in length and held weekly.
Upcoming Classes
Click on the buttons below to register for open classes. Once payment is made, you will receive a confirmation email with link, passcode, and material for the class. If you are looking for a private class, email ellen@thrivecounselingnj.com.
The classes are organized separately to give you the best chance for success. Some skills are hard to learn and you may need a few weeks at one step before you can move to the next. If this is the case, you can keep registering for the same class as many times as you need, or you can practice the exercises on your own until you master that step.
Step-1: The Set-Up
Learn why and how to set up a conversation for success. It’s about thoughtfully identifying the need/ point you want to communicate and picking, or asking your partner for a time that works. A time where you partner has the capacity to listen, hear, and take in what you are saying.
Step-2: Speak Your Experience and Mirror
Learn how to speak in a way you can be heard. It’s from your experience. When you speak this way, all feelings, needs, desires, wishes, etc. are valid. And speaking from this place really is the only way your partner can hear and understand your needs. Once you, the speaker, shares your experience and needs, your partner learns how to Mirror. Simple repeat back what you are saying so you can feel heard and understood. It sounds simple! – it’s actually quite a difficult process to learn if you are emotionally reactive.
Step-3: Validation
If you learn to speak your experience, and your partner can learn to mirror you, the next step is realizing that all feelings, needs, wants, desires, etc. – are valid! These three steps are what we need to happen to feel seen. This is what couples want. To be seen and understood.
Step-4: Invite Feedback and Switch Places
When steps one, two and three are mastered, you can move to this next step – inviting your partner to speak about what you just said. This is where you ask, “How do you think and feel about what I’m saying?. The speaker switches places and now the listener, who just worked really hard at hearing, mirroring, and validating, now gets to speak their thoughts and feelings in a safe, compassionate way. And the original speaker now becomes the listener, tasked with hearing, mirroring and validating.
Step-5: Conclusions
Once the three previous steps are mastered, there needs to be a conclusion. It’s either empathy and compassion, connection, repair if the conversation didn’t go so great. Or it’s focus on problem solving and behavior change.
Commonly Asked Questions
Do we register as a couple? Each log-in is a separate registration. If you are a couple and are on the same device for the class, you only need to register for 1 person. If you are on separate devices logging in separately, you need to purchase two registrations.
What is the cost? Each virtual class is $49
How long do the classes last? Each class lasts 50 minutes in length
Are the classes recorded? We do not record the classes and we ask our participants to respect the privacy of others and NOT to record the class. I am working on webinars. When they are complete, each paid registration will also receive access to the webinar for that step.
Can we ask questions? Yes, you can type a question in the chat. Depending on how many people join the class, there is no guarantee that your question will be answered.
Who is facilitating the class? Ellen Gregory, LMFT is the lead facilitator for each class.